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Dating / Tying the Knot

How I Knew My Husband Was ‘The One’

padlocks on a gate

As someone who has been very vocal about being happily married, I often get asked how I realized my husband was “the one.”

The thing is, I cannot recall a specific moment that triggered that realization. I think it’s because what made me decide to marry the person who is now my husband is a combination of many little things I noticed about him since the day we began dating.

I think this has to do with the fact that when I met him, I had already gone through a lot in life. My BS detector was in full swing, and so I was no longer impressed by grand gestures that might not mean anything more than fleeting moments of spectacle. I may have been touched by their beauty for a split second, but I knew they were not sustainable. I just wanted something to last longer, something real.

Good thing, he’s not the kind of person to resort to such cheap tricks. He would surprise me a couple of times, yes, but his surprises were limited to really simple things like bringing me coffee before I asked for it, showing up outside my office before I had the time and energy to text him that I badly needed him by my side, and memorizing my food orders no matter how complicated they were to ensure they would be exactly how I wanted them each time.

Looking back to it now, I can tell that the kind of surprises he tried to pull off required a really good understanding of a person. Nothing too flashy because he probably noticed how much I loathed being the center of attention, especially in public places. Nothing wasteful, either. Instead, he paid attention. He listened to me and was sensitive to my needs so he could provide what I needed, just when I needed them.

Part of this was how serious he was with making sure he could be the kind of partner I wanted—someone who always showed up but not to the point that I was suffocating. So while we loved doing a lot of things together, he also knew when to take a step back and just let me do things on my own. He knew when to let me shine.

There were more amazing things I noticed about him ever since we met. They all contributed to my decision to spend the rest of my life with him, definitely, but since the space here probably wouldn’t be enough for me to enumerate each of them, let me just say this: I knew he was the one because while I was sure I could be happy on my own, I was also certain life would be much better, sweeter, and more exciting with him around.

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